I notice that Autumn is more the season of the soul than of nature.
September 2 with 5,166 notes
Why do white people own so many pets?
Because we’re not allowed to own people anymore.
What is the scariest thing about a white person in prison?
You know he did it.
how many Chicago cops does it take to change a light bulb? None, they just beat the room for being black.”
A good looking 50 year old white man is trying to get laid on reality TV. What show are you watching?
To catch a predator.
Why do white girls travel in groups of three or five?
They can’t even
What do you call 64 white people in a room? A full blooded Cherokee.
September 2 with 17,201 notes
When someone is crying, of course, the noble thing to do is to comfort them. But if someone is trying to hide their tears, it may also be noble to pretend you do not notice them.
September 2 with 276,459 notes
1. Kiss that cute boy at the party, but push him away as soon as he puts his hand up your skirt
2. Smoke a cigarette for the first time, and make it your last
3. Don’t straighten your hair for a week, see how many compliments you get
4. Blast your favourite song even when your mum has told you off for playing it too loudly. Enjoy those 3 minutes of pure happiness before she pulls the plug out.
5. Say yes to going out, you’ll have something to tell your grandchildren about
6. Paint a sun on a rainy day, then stick it to the window
7. Eat the cupcake, you have better things to worry about than those 300 calories
8. Do yoga and meditate as often as possible
9. Stand up for yourself. Someone called you a slut? Someone said you are ugly? Someone said your art work was boring and dull? That is your cue to fucking stand up for yourself and make them speechless
10. Don’t respond to a group of males whistling at you. You’re a human being, not a fucking dog
11. Leave your headphones at home, see how much you are missing out on because you’re always lost in your own thoughts
12. Carry hand sanitizer and bandaids in your purse
13. Wear sexy underwear, loads of leather, a fur coat, heels and purple lipstick. Do it for yourself, not for the hot guy next door.
14. If you’re having a bad day, cry, scream, punch a pillow, throw stuff around. Then you pick up the mess, including yourself and get back up.
15. Smile, be polite and get on peoples good sides for starters
16. Stop waiting for your crush, stop dressing up for the bar man that serves you a free drink or staying extra hours at work for your boss. Stop impressing these dickheads and start impressing yourself.
17. Laugh until you cry, and when the girl sitting next to you in class tells you to shut up, laugh even louder.
18. Do whatever feels right in the moment, laugh, cringe and regret it later. Repeat.
September 2 with 239,897 notes